ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
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I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
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5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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