he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
just tell him i said nine months
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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