He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
