Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
