you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
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