just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
