remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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