Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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