Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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