When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
