I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I had to cum in my sink.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
