It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
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