Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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