Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
