this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
