Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
