Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Watching her eat just hurts me
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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