It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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