we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
