Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
