I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
