Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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