I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
