so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
