Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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