there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
