Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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