im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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