I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
