He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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