We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
