paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
