Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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