Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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