you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
