but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
its liver damage thursday
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
