I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
