she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Vodka?
Forever.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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