I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
