My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
