He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
