Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
