i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
