Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
