apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
