love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
