I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize