It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
