I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
