Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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