mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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