no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
