Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
