Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
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