he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
