I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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