Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
