Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
