It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
