Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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