Come see our sink grown plant.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I just googled if crying burns calories
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
